A man who admitted he repeatedly subjected his wife to years of brutal domestic abuse has laid bare the disturbing mindset behind his violence in an eye-opening documentary exploring America's domestic violence crisis.
Shawn, who appears in filmmaker Deeyah Khan's documentary Behind the Rage: America's Domestic Violence, speaks candidly about his abusive behaviour after completing a domestic violence perpetrators' programme in Kansas. His testimony forms part of the film's wider investigation into whether tackling violent offenders themselves could help reduce the epidemic of intimate partner violence affecting women across the United States.
Documentary Explores The Roots Of Domestic Violence
According to the documentary, most female homicide victims in America are killed by a current or former partner, while one in four women experiences domestic violence or abuse during their lifetime. Khan's film combines interviews with survivors, victims' families, psychologists, social workers and perpetrators in an effort to understand the roots of violent behaviour and whether it can be prevented.
One of the documentary's most shocking moments comes when Shawn describes the extent of the abuse he inflicted on his wife.
Asked how much of their relationship had involved violence, he replied: '80%, 85%. If we had to put it in a week frame, seven days out of the week, I beat her five.'
He went on to detail repeated physical assaults, saying: 'I kicked her in the face, punched her in the face, pulled out her hair. I struck her nose, and she started leaking blood really badly.'
Shawn also admitted to forcing his wife to clean up her own blood after one attack.
'I'd be like, 'Haha, how do you like it?' Like insane s***. I would be insane sometimes,' he said.
'It Made Me Feel Like I Was The Man'
Khan explains in the documentary that she met Shawn through a domestic violence perpetrator's project in Kansas, which he had completed only a few months before filming. Despite finishing the programme, he admits he is still trying to understand why he became violent towards someone he says he loved.
'How can I say I love this person and I'm hurting her?' he asks.
He describes his emotions as unpredictable, saying arguments could quickly escalate into violent impulses.
'When there's love, I feel like it's like a dice. You don't know what side it's going to land on. I just go from happy to just... I want to beat you up.'
Perhaps the most unsettling moment comes when Shawn reflects on how the abuse made him feel at the time.
'Did I feel superior? Did I feel like I just did some type of drug, even though I just beat up my wife? It made me feel the adrenaline, and I don't know what caused me to feel like that, but I felt like I was the man.'
He added: 'I'm in my house, so nobody's really going to tell me anything. It feels like America's phrase, 'land of the free.'
Coming To Terms With His Actions
However, Shawn says taking part in the rehabilitation programme forced him to confront his actions for the first time.
'It was hard. It was the first time I've ever looked into myself. Never once have I said, 'Why am I the way I am? Why did I do that?'
He continued: 'I just never knew it was so serious until now. I never knew how serious domestic violence was.'
Acknowledging the lasting impact of his actions, he said: 'You can't take back what you did. It's there. You're a piece of s*** for that. For the rest of my life, I'll be that piece of s***.'
Experts Urge Involving Perpetrators in the Conversation
The documentary argues that understanding abusive behaviour is not about excusing it, but about preventing future violence. Khan interviews Dorothy Halley, a social worker who co-runs the Kansas intervention classes for perpetrators.
Halley explains that early in her career, she focused solely on helping women escape abusive relationships. However, one case changed her perspective after she met the seventh victim of the same repeat offender within five years.
'I realised, seventh victim in five years. I don't want to be working with this 20th victim,' she says. 'What are we going to do with those who batter to get them to stop?'
Viewers React To The Harrowing Documentary
The documentary has prompted strong reactions online after clips from Shawn's interview resurfaced on social media. Many viewers said they were disturbed by what they perceived as a lack of remorse in his delivery, while others questioned why he was not serving a prison sentence. Others argued the film offers a rare but necessary insight into the psychology of abusive men, saying understanding perpetrators is essential if domestic violence is to be reduced.
Behind the Rage: America's Domestic Violence examines the issue through multiple perspectives, including survivors, bereaved families, mental health professionals and offenders themselves. Rather than attempting to excuse abusive behaviour, the documentary asks whether confronting the attitudes and beliefs that fuel violence could help prevent future victims and ultimately save lives.
