Benny Blanco has turned a sweet story about becoming Selena Gomez's boyfriend into an unexpected lesson in choosing your words carefully. The music producer recently recalled the moment Gomez asked him to define their relationship, but his admission that he 'didn't really have an option' has left some fans raising eyebrows.
During the 6 October episode of his Friends Keep Secrets podcast, Blanco revealed that Gomez woke him at 3:30 am to have the dreaded 'what are we?' conversation. The pair were already dating, but hadn't officially defined their relationship status. With Gomez preparing to leave for New York, she wanted to know exactly what to tell people if they asked about him.
Blanco eventually realised she was asking whether they were boyfriend and girlfriend. He described the conversation as a 'helpful nudge' and made clear that he wanted the relationship. Unfortunately for the producer, the particular phrase has since attracted criticism on Reddit. Apparently, even a love story can suffer from a questionable choice of vocabulary.
Selena Asked One Question, and Benny Needed a Minute
Blanco shared that Gomez repeatedly tapped him awake in the early hours before asking, 'Hey, what are we?' Still half-asleep, he struggled to understand the question. Gomez explained that she was travelling to New York and wanted to know what she should say if somebody asked about their relationship.
His initial answer? 'I don't know.'
Not exactly the declaration of love one hopes to hear at 3:30 in the morning. Gomez pressed him for an answer, prompting Blanco to realise that she was asking him to make things official.
'In that very moment, I realised that she was my girlfriend,' he recalled, adding, 'I didn't really have an option, and I wanted it, and she gave me, like, the helpful nudge that I needed.'
People Aren't Impressed
The internet had some thoughts about the delivery. A Reddit discussion about Blanco's remarks attracted criticism from users who felt his phrasing made him sound less enthusiastic than he probably intended.
'He has this air about him as if he's the one who's settling,' one commenter wrote. Another was even more direct: 'He truly believes HE'S the catch in this relationship.'
Some focused less on Blanco's attitude and more on the wording itself. 'Word choice is everything in interviews, because phrasing it as having no option sounds far less romantic than saying he instantly knew she was the one,' one Reddit user argued.
Another suggested the exchange could have been framed differently, joking that Blanco needed public relations training. However, not everyone interpreted the remark negatively. One commenter defended the producer, suggesting critics were overlooking his intended meaning.
From a 3:30 am Question to Wedding Bells
Blanco and Gomez began dating in 2023 and announced their engagement in December 2024. They married in September 2025, making the once-uncertain relationship status a question that has long since been answered.
The producer shared the story while discussing love and commitment on Friends Keep Secrets, a podcast he hosts with rapper Lil Dicky and Kristin Batalucco. He has also spoken warmly about his wife on the show.
During the same episode, he described how he makes a point of telling Gomez she's beautiful every day, including reassuring her about a facial skin condition she feels self-conscious about. That affectionate detail offers a different picture from the interpretation some Reddit users took away from his 'no option' remark. Whether it is enough to appease fans who rushed to Gomez's defence after his remark is a different story.
Three years and a wedding later, Benny has clearly committed to the relationship. His choice of words, however, might still need counselling.
