Every Sunday night, the ritual began the same way.
Sitting beneath the unforgiving bathroom light, magnifying mirror inches from her face, one woman would spend hours examining every pore, blemish and perceived imperfection. She poked, prodded, squeezed and scraped until her skin was red and sore, convincing herself that the discomfort meant she was taking care of herself.
Looking back, she now sees it differently.
'I mistook compulsion for self-care,' she admitted, putting words to a behaviour that many women quietly recognise but rarely discuss. While much of the public conversation has focused on children becoming obsessed with skincare, experts say women in their thirties and beyond may be trapped in the very same cycle—only theirs has become so normalised that it often goes unnoticed.
When Skincare Stops Feeling Like Self-Care
The beauty industry has never been bigger.
From celebrity skincare brands and luxury serums to TikTok routines promising 'glass skin', consumers are constantly told that flawless complexions are within reach—if only they buy the next product, try the latest treatment or perfect a ten-step routine.
For many women, skincare starts as a healthy habit. But for others, it slowly becomes an obligation.
The woman who shared her experience described spending hours analysing her face before moving through an elaborate routine of exfoliation, cleansing, toner, moisturiser and prescription-strength tretinoin.
The soreness afterwards felt almost rewarding.
'Beauty is pain,' she would tell herself.
Only years later did she realise that the routine was no longer about caring for her skin. It had become about chasing perfection that never seemed to arrive.
What Is Cosmeticorexia?
The behaviour has increasingly become known as 'cosmeticorexia', a term researchers are now beginning to examine more closely.
Earlier this year, dermatologist Dr Giovanni Damiani and clinical psychologist Alberto Stefana published research exploring the phenomenon, describing it as an obsessive preoccupation with skin appearance, compulsive beauty routines and the persistent belief that one more treatment could finally deliver the flawless face seen in advertisements and on social media.
Their report argues that the trend is being fuelled by the growing medicalisation of beauty, the booming cosmeceutical market and online platforms that reward appearance-focused content.
The researchers also warned that excessive skincare routines can damage the skin barrier, increase irritation and reinforce unhealthy appearance-monitoring behaviours. However, they stress that cosmeticorexia is not currently recognised as an official medical diagnosis, and more research is needed to understand its long-term psychological effects.
Why Women Over 30 Are Being Forgotten
Much of the concern surrounding cosmeticorexia has centred on teenagers asking for anti-ageing creams before they've even reached puberty.
Yet the same pressures do not disappear with age.
Instead, they often evolve.
Women in their thirties and forties face constant messages about preventing wrinkles, boosting collagen and maintaining youthful skin. Social media feeds are filled with influencers documenting Botox appointments, expensive facials, laser treatments and morning routines featuring dozens of products.
At the same time, celebrities regularly reveal intricate skincare rituals, while luxury beauty campaigns blur the line between wellness and cosmetic intervention.
For many women, checking the mirror repeatedly, buying every trending serum or feeling anxious enough about their skin to cancel plans can begin to feel completely ordinary.
More Than A Beauty Trend
Experts believe the issue extends beyond social media alone.
Although proposals to limit children's exposure to beauty content may help younger audiences, adult women continue to encounter the same messages through advertising, fashion magazines, celebrity endorsements and influencer marketing.
The promise is almost always the same: younger, smoother and more flawless skin is just one purchase away.
That relentless pursuit can leave some women believing their appearance is a project that always needs improving rather than something to simply live in and enjoy. The result is a beauty culture where self-worth can become closely tied to correcting every perceived flaw.
Learning To Recognise The Difference
Not everyone who enjoys skincare is experiencing cosmeticorexia, and experts caution that the condition remains an emerging area of research rather than a recognised clinical diagnosis.
Still, the growing conversation is encouraging women to ask an important question: when does self-care stop feeling enjoyable and start feeling compulsory?
For the woman whose story has resonated with thousands, the answer arrived only after she recognised how much time, energy and emotion she had devoted to chasing perfect skin.
'I mistook compulsion for self-care' has become more than a personal reflection. It speaks to a wider beauty culture where perfection is constantly marketed but rarely attainable.
Perhaps the most important skincare routine isn't adding another serum or booking another treatment. It is recognising when caring for your skin begins to come at the cost of caring for yourself.
